How to Fix a Failing Relationship - Start With the Little Things That Mean A Lot

There are plenty of things you can do if you want to know if you want to know how to fix a failing relationship including applying a variety of techniques to bring the intimacy back into your relationship. Many people begin to feel that the intimacy levels in their relationships begin to fade over time. They mistakenly believe this means the love is gone, but the truth is that all relationships develop into a pattern of habits and rituals that can often make people feel more like roommates than lovers.

Instead of giving up on your relationship, try using some relationship "self help techniques" to bring the intimacy levels back to where they were when you first met. They are some of the first steps in how to fix a failing relationship.

1. Small Talk
Research has shown that couples who engage in regular small talk will experience less arguments and fights throughout their relationship. Connective small talk doesn't mean bombarding your partner with an hour-long diatribe about every single thing you did during the day. Small talk is simply sharing opinions or observations from things you did through your day. It also means learning to avoid mono-syllable responses and actually showing a bit of interest in what each other is saying. Ask questions and respond to your partner with positivity.

2. Eye Contact
How many times do you really look your partner in the eye when you talk together? As relationships progress, many people tend to look in the direction of their partner's eyes, but they don't make eye contact. When you first met, eye contact would have been high. Humans react to eye contact as being a positive way to build intimacy. As you become more familiar with each other, this decreases over time, which also leads people to believe the intimacy is dying.

3. Non-sexual Physical Contact
Learning to touch your partner and encouraging them to touch you too in non-sexual ways can help to increase intimacy. Give your partner a hug without expecting it to lead to anything further. Offer your partner a back massage or a foot rub and don't have an ulterior motive. Hold hands when you're out together. These simple forms of physical contact re-establish a level of intimacy and trust in each other that can be very effective in how to fix a failing relationship.

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4. Appreciation

Instead of focusing on the things that annoy you about your partner, try focusing on the things you appreciate about them instead. There must be things about your partner that attracted you to them originally, so spend some time each day focusing on the positive things and don't waste time concentrating on the annoying traits that everyone has anyway.

5. Take "Me" Time

Far too many couples fall into a pattern of trying to spend all of their time with their partner. They begin to feel as though their partner is somehow deserting them if they want to spend a little time doing something without their significant other. While it's normal to enjoy each other's company, it's also important to remember that everyone needs a little alone time occasionally.
This could be something as simple as going out for a meal or a movie with friends, coffee with the girls, or football with the boys. Research shows that many couples improve their relationships when they display trust and encourage each other to spend a little time doing things they enjoy.

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To your ultimate success in love,

Jo Chris

get-back-together-with-your-ex.com

How to Fix a Failing Relationship

Knowing what to do and how to fix a failing relationship might seem like a hopeless task for some women. They worry endlessly that their relationship is falling apart and no matter what they do, their partner seems to be pulling further and further away from them. Then in an effort to pull their relationship back together, many women try to talk to their partner to find out what's wrong or what could be changed. Unfortunately these tactics can sometimes end up driving your partner even further away.

There are some psychologically proven principles you can put to good use for you when if you really want to know how to fix a failing relationship. But first it's important to understand the various phases of a relationship.

Most relationships make several transitions as they progress. The initial phases of attraction are based on mutual enjoyment of each others company. Your intimacy levels are high and you both want to spend more and more time with each other.

The key to keeping any relationship at the same electrically charged emotional levels they were at when you first met isn't what you'd expect. The key to keeping a relationship strong is attraction.

Many women begin trying to analyze every word their partner has said and the tone of his voice while he said it, trying to find a meaning behind why he's pulling away. They try to make sure they spend even more time with him, insist on knowing or finding out what he's doing when he's not with you or even forcing him to stop acting a certain way in an effort to make the relationship feel more stable.

In reality, these actions are driving you further apart instead of saving a relationship that was once great fun to be a part of. If you're serious about putting your relationship back on track and keeping it that way, then there are some things you'll need to think about.

Saying goodbye to the one you love is difficult. You can avoid having things get to that point. To learn more about fixing a failing relationship...go to ===> how to fix a failing relationship.

1. Back to the Beginning
Think about what aspect of you your partner fell in love with when you first met. Most men will say they fell in love with a woman who was fun, happy, bubbly, confident, independent and smart. Many women will say they fell in love with a happy, confident, funny, sensitive guy.

When you first met, you would have been working hard to make sure your partner enjoyed the time he spent in your company. As you became more familiar with each other, you felt secure that you didn't need to work quite so hard. Ask yourself what's changed about each of you since you first met.

2. Attraction
As mentioned before, the key to saving a relationship is attraction. When you're attracted to your partner and he's attracted to you, it's natural you both want to spend more time in each other's company. As you become more familiar with each other, the effort it takes to look good and behave in a fun manner falls away.

Attraction isn't always physically based. Many people are attracted to confidence and independence. Again, think carefully about what attracted your partner to you originally. This is the key to making your partner fall in love with you all over again.

3. Communication
Effective communication when you're working on finding out how to fix a failing relationship doesn't mean sitting down and talking over all the problems in the relationship for hours at a time. In fact, this could break your relationship even further apart.

You need to remember the type of conversations you had when you first met. Most frequently they would have been happy, light-hearted conversations that made you both feel good and made you both enjoy the time you spent together. It's natural for any human on the planet to avoid situations that make them feel bad, so try to find ways to communicate that make you both remember how much you enjoy each other's company.

This information is just the tip of the iceberg in learning more about fixing a failing relationship...go to ===> how to fix a failing relationship to find out what more you need to do to keep your love.

To your ultimate success in love,

Jo Chris

Answers to get back together with your ex

The Story of Sam – Don’t Be A Dumped Boyfriend Who Does Everything Wrong

Sam was a dumped boyfriend. His girlfriend Keri had been unable to attend a party with him, but he wanted to go anyway. He ended up making out with some random girl and of course, one of Keri’s friends couldn’t wait to tell her the news.



Keri called Sam that night and told him that she never wanted to see him again. She called him a number of unprintable names as well.



Of course, Sam felt bad about the whole situation. He knew he had a lapse of judgment, but didn’t think that one evening of bad behavior should end a good relationship.



So, Sam jumped right in and tried to win Keri back. But, as we will see, he did everything wrong.



First of all, when Keri called, he groveled. Rather than apologizing and moving forward, he begged Keri to take him back. She, of course, was in no mood to do so. She was justifiably angry.



Then, he compounded the problem by pursuing her aggressively in the next few days. She got more than a hundred texts from him in 6 days. He called at least 3 times a day including once at 1 in the morning. He sent flowers to her at work.



Then, a week later, completely desperate, he went and sang love songs under her window. Her neighbors called the police.



Sam’s first problem was that he didn’t give Keri a chance to breathe. She needed some space to decide whether to go on with the relationship. And Sam, acting like a dumped boyfriend, took that space away.

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When nothing seemed to work, Sam decided on another tactic. He started seeing other girls and flaunting it in her face. He even went to the extreme. Keri had a friend named Robin who never seemed to be able to get a date. Sam asked Robin out and she accepted. Then, Sam called Keri and asked her where Robin would like to go on their date. Sam thought that Keri would be jealous when she heard he was dating her friend but Keri was furious. She felt that Sam was taking advantage of Robin to get back at her. And, she felt Robin was selling her out. Sam wasn’t making any headway.



When Keri started dating a new guy, Sam did everything possible to disparage the boyfriend. He tried to compare the new guy unfavorably to himself. He even went as far as coming up with made up stories to try and put the new guy in a bad light.



Unfortunately, by this time, Sam had burned all of his bridges. Keri had moved on and didn’t want to have anything further to do with Sam.



The relationship didn’t have to end like this. Keri could have forgiven Sam for his lapse at the party. But, because Sam acted like an @$$ afterwards, he lost the ability to get her back.





If you are a dumped boyfriend, don’t compound matters by being a Sam.

(Don't be a Sam. Go to dumped boyfriend to get your girlfriend back.)

To your ultimate success in love,
Jo Chris

The Magic of Making Up

5 Tips on Making Up with My Boyfriend

This advice was offered by a friend of mine - Not that I necessarily agree with all of her comments…but I believe that she may have a few valid points. Hopefully some of the information will be of help to you.



When making up with my boyfriend I tried to remember these tips that my older and wiser friend had given me. My ex and I got back together so I hope they work for you too.



1) Men don't like chit chat: Generally speaking men don’t like to talk in depth about their feelings and forcing the issue will just cause them to clam up even more. So when you are trying to get back together don’t force him to analyze what went wrong. If he behaved badly but is willing to apologize, accept it and move on.



2) Men can only concentrate on one thing at a time. This is really true so don’t try and fight it. Very few men can multi-task. Their genetics are to blame for this so shouting at him is pointless. The sooner you accept that your man cannot listen to you while reading his newspaper or watching TV the better. Most of the time, he is not ignoring you on purpose. The more you try to understand that this is the way he is programmed the fewer number of arguments you will have.



3) Men like toys. The joke is that men never grow up and show it by still playing with toys. Most men love to build things and start DIY jobs. Not all of them like to finish these jobs which can cause problems at home. Let your man indulge his hobbies, within reason. You can spend time with your girlfriends while he is fishing or building a boat. By compromising like this, he will probably be much more willing to spend time with you doing things together that you both enjoy.



4) Don’t assume that your man knows that you want to make up with him. Men in general tend to be a bit slow in picking up signals especially about relationships. For this reason, you sometimes need to be very direct and tell them exactly how you feel. Men don't like games unless they understand the rules like in golf or chess. Women, well we have a tendency to change the rules on dating more often than men change their shirts so we need to give them a break if they get a little confused.

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5) Have you heard the joke - "Why does it take loads of sperm to fertilize one egg…because they refuse to stop for directions!" I know the men in my life would prefer to get lost, than admit defeat and stop to ask for directions. Generally men find it very hard to admit they are wrong. If you question what they say, they typically believe you are implying they have done something wrong. This can cause problems in modern relationships as women are so used to being the boss at work and giving others directions.

I am not suggesting that women have to become door mats or defer to their partners. But a little understanding of genetics and male species goes a long way to help resolve the question of making up with my boyfriend.

(Learn the best way in making up with my boyfriend.)

To your success in love,

Jo Chris

The Magic of Making Up

Please Help Me to Get My Ex Girlfriend Back

How many times do men ask their friends how do I get my ex girlfriend back? Honestly, I thought it was a woman's prerogative to change her mind. But, some men just don't know when they are onto a good thing and their reasons for ending relationships border on the ridiculous.



My male friends have broken up with girls for:



1) wearing the wrong type of shoes!
2) Her mother
3) The new barmaid at his favorite bar smiled at him.



Now ok I know that a pretty face can turn any man's head and there is the dreaded notion that a woman may turn into her mother but come on guys - the wrong type of shoes? If women didn't date men because of the clothes they were wearing the human race would have died out long ago. Maybe there is something to the line that "behind every well dressed man is a good woman" - beginning early in life with his mother and later, when he get married, his wife!



I always tell my male friends that they need to make a list before they break up with their girlfriends. On one side of the list, you put her good points. Do you find her interesting? Does she look after you? Does she cook for you? Does she laugh at your jokes? Are you attracted to her? On the other side of the list, they can put the things that wind them up.

Now think about the things that drive you nuts. Ok she may nag at little too much but then if you put the toilet seat down she might stop. She may not want more than a cuddle every evening but five times a week doesn't mean that she isn't caring enough. Get the picture?



Writing the good and bad points of your life together down on paper may seem like a cold approach but it is a very practical way of seeing what a great relationship you do/did have. You need to compare the two lists and decide if you should be breaking up with this woman. And if you are doing it after the event, it also helps to clarify if you made the right decision to finish the relationship. Sometimes we regret breaking up because we end up feeling lonely. But loneliness is not a reason to get back together.

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If you have dumped the lady in your life but now know it was the wrong decision you need to act fast. Great life partners do not grow on trees. She has shown that she will put up with you in all your glory - how many women would be crazy enough to do that?

Take a page out of Richard Gere's book and put some romance back into her life. Send her flowers - not a bunch of red roses but some of her favorites. Send her a handwritten letter telling her how much you love her and miss her. Book a reservation at her favorite restaurant and treat her to a night out. In short, you need to treat her just like the princess you believe her to be and assuming you are not a complete disgrace, you won't have ask how to get my ex girlfriend back again.

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To your success in love,
Jo Chris
Get My Ex Girlfriend Back

You CAN Win Your Love Back - The Example of Katie and Brad

Sometimes I know it seems impossible, but you can win your love back. I’ve got a great story to share with you as an example. It’s the story of Katie and Brad.

See, Katie made a major mistake. She saw Brad talking to her best friend Andrea and thought he was flirting with her. Katie worked herself into a fury and broke up with Brad.

As it turned out, Brad was actually consulting with Andrea on how to put together a surprise romantic Valentine’s date. But he was extremely hurt that Katie would think so little of him and decided he didn’t want to have to do anything to do with her after that.

You may think that you couldn’t win your love back after such a situation. But Katie wasn’t willing to give up so easily. Let me tell you what she did to get back together with Brad.

Well, as you can imagine Brad wasn’t talking to her, so she couldn’t discuss the situation with him. But she could write him a letter. She got some nice paper and hand wrote an apology. She admitted that she had flown off the handle. She also told him what she liked about him and about the relationship. Finally, she expressed gratitude for his thoughtfulness in planning a romantic date. Then, she shut up. She didn’t call, text or email him for a week. By not pestering him, she gave him time to work through his emotions.

After a week, she sent him a short and sweet “thinking of you” email. She kept it casual.
Brad was obviously nuts about Katie because he was willing to go to the trouble of impressing her on Valentine’s Day. But, he was also hurt. Because Katie had apologized and given him time to work through his emotions, he was able to respond to the “thinking of you” email.

The night he got the email, he called Katie. She tried to keep things light and fun. Brad appreciated that. So, he suggested they meet for coffee and Katie agreed.

Katie went out of her way to look like a million bucks. She wore the earrings Brad had given her for Christmas and she put on the perfume that he liked so much.

Katie decided that she would only talk about positive things. She especially tried to bring fond memories into the conversation. She also asked about his family because that would reinforce their shared history and closeness.

Brad appreciated this. He loved Katie and didn’t want things to end. But, he didn’t want a repeat of the situation either. He needed to be reassured that their life together wouldn’t be filled with needless drama. He also needed to know that talking to another woman wouldn’t set off fireworks.

The couple agreed to get back together but that they would take the relationship to a less intense level. They would really court each other again. They would stop taking each other for granted.

(Katie followed the tips here, win your love back. It's the advice needed when you're trying to get back together with the one you love.)

Now, one year later, Brad and Katie agree that the break up may have actually saved their relationship over the long haul. While Katie initially flew off the handle, her calm handling of the situation afterward made it possible for them to move on. She showed you can win your love back.

(More information is available at win your love back.)

To your ultimate success in love,
Jo Chris

Win Your Love Back

What Worked for Me - How to Make My Ex Love Me Again

I've shared my story with others, who had been through a breakup, about how to make my ex love me again. They wanted to know what they to could do to get an ex back. For any others who may be going through the heartache of saying goodbye to a boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, or wife, here is the best way I recommend to get back together with your ex.

First, a little background is necessary to help explain why this action worked. Otherwise, without explanation it would be like trying to solve global warming without knowing what’s causing the problem in the first place.

I met my ex through someone I was dating. I had heard stories about him that didn’t always put him in the best light. However having said that, I still thought he was cute and deep down I knew I was attracted to him. When the first guy I was seeing and I were through, I still had the opportunity to be around my ex through another friend. That is when the attraction grew. His interest in me stemmed from the air of mystery and confidence I displayed. He asked me out because he wanted to learn more about me and solve that mystery. We became a couple because of that person who I was. However after several months he broke up with me because the mystery was gone and so was the confidence I displayed. I lost myself in him and the idea of us.

When he broke up with me I was heart broken. I didn’t want it to be over and I admit making mistakes in the way I was trying to get him back. After a couple of months wishing I could find a way about how I could get back together with him, I made my decision to stop crying, moping, feeling depressed, and acting stupid. If I was going to get my ex back then I needed to take positive action. The first step was asking the question about how to make my ex love me again. It’s amazing the answers that come when we just ask…but I don’t want to digress.

I started looking for help, trying to learn all I could. In my search I found one thing that stood out. The biggest thing I realized was that the attraction was gone when the person he first got together with was gone too. (I was no longer the cool, confident, easy come easy go person), So that was when I knew it was time to find me again. I needed to rediscover me not just for our sake but for mine as well. So I set out on a journey for change.

(My biggest help came from a guide that taught me how to make my ex love me again.)

First, I stopped communicating with him at every opportunity that came up, coming up with reasons to just talk to him. Because we were involved in the same circles, I would still see him. I was always polite and friendly but the interaction was brief. This was just to keep him within arm’s reach so he didn’t forget me and what we shared. From there though, I got busy…busy working on me.

I went back to night school. I started a new business, met new friends, started working out and getting healthy. I was learning who I was and becoming the person I always wanted to be.

Eventually, after a few months he started seeing something different in me. I was gaining my self confidence again, (by the way, a very attractive feature in anyone), and he was noticing. And although it was a little different this time, the air of mystery had returned. Plus, I was sporting a newly transformed body, mentality, and demeanor. And the combination of these things got him interested once again…so much so that we started seeing each other again.

To shorten and already long story, today we are back together in a much stronger, healthier, and happier relationship. I for one couldn’t be happier and I know I am a better person for all that this has taught me, better for us but mostly better for me.

That story was my answer in how to make my ex love me again. That story is most likely the answer to that question for you as well. Improve you and no matter what happens, you’ll come out on top. Just think; a better you and your ex back too. It’s like having cake and eating it too.

(If you are looking for answers on how to get back together with your ex, check out how to make my ex love me again.)

Wishing you peace, happiness, and ultimate love,

Jo Christ