How to Get Back the Love of an Ex - Basic Step to Get Love Back
Have you recently broken up with the person of your dreams, maybe even the one you thought you’d spend the rest of your life with? I have to tell you I’m sorry for your loss and the pain you’re going through right now. Breakups are devastating and letting go of someone you love is one of the hardest things to do in life.
But I have some good news for you.
While it may seem that there is no way for things to work out, there is actually a good chance that the relationship can be mended and the two of you can be together again. But in order for that to happen, you’ll need to know how to get back the love of an ex.
That’s what this article is for.
Now to start with learning about how to get back the love of an ex, first I want to give you a warning. The methods I refer to in this process might seem somewhat unconventional. They could go against every natural instinct that’s residing in your being. But having said that, I can assure you they work, and so can several thousand other folks who have put these practices into play and ended up saving their relationship and even getting an ex back.
Because of how effective these steps are, if you apply them and put what is said here in action, you could be well on your way to obtaining the same successful results.
Another caution that is necessary is to let you know that most of these steps will require changes within you. Having said that, it certainly doesn’t mean you are a bad person or need to make yourself completely different…not in the least. What it may mean though is that the old you may need a tune up, mentally, physically, and even emotionally.
Making small changes to the way you act, the way you look, and the way you respond to your ex may be all that is necessary. Regardless of how big or small, it’s this tune up that creates a new and improved you that will big a huge part of the reason for you ex to want you again.
Now, if you’re willing to do the work then let’s talk details about how to get the love back of an ex.
The first, and most important step that is necessary to get an ex back is to believe that the two of you can be together again. Hang on to that idea and don’t give up on the possibility unless you have decided to stop trying to win your ex back.
The purpose of this step is based on the basic premise of faith. According to Saint Augustine, “Faith is to believe what you do not see; the reward of this faith is to see what you believe.” Meaning, you have to see the result first before it can actually come to be.
And it was Henry Ford who said, “Whether you think you can or can’t, you are right.” His words are another confirmation of the fact that believing that something can happen is a necessity in order for it to even have the possibility of being true.
Both of these quotes are powerful statements attesting to this first basic step in how to get back the love of an ex.
The next step is to do a self check and that check should be in all areas, mentally, physically, emotionally, even spiritually. You may find yourself questioning the reasons for this, but stick with me and I’ll explain why this is important.
First, take a look in the mirror. What do you see? Who do you see? Can you say that physically you are at your best? Are you as fit as you could be? And even if being at you best is a ways away, how about starting with small improvements.
Taking action to improve yourself physically brings a number of benefits to you. You’ll feel better physically. You’ll find that exercising as a part of you improvement process helps relieve stress. You’ll get stronger physically. And of course as your physique changes, you’ll look better too.
Interestingly enough, these changes have a way of transcending the physical aspect of the being and impacting, in a positive way, the emotional and mental well being as well.
Other things you can do to positively influence your mental and emotional well-being are to grow intellectually by taking a class, learning a new hobby, building or creating something, or even teaching others. Volunteering is another great way to improve on your personal well being.
By making these changes, you begin affecting how you feel about yourself. Once embarking on this journey you’ll find a new self-confidence not build on ego and not severely encumbered by pride. And when you think about it, is self-confidence not a feature you find attractive in others???
Now let’s dive into other aspects of change that will help you get back the love of an ex.
Think back to the time when you were with your ex as a couple. How did you treat him or her? Did you listen… and I mean really listen when they were talking to you? Did you pay attention to them when they were talking? Did you treat them with respect?
Doing these things are naturally the way we communicate and treat someone that we want to get close to and develop a relationship with. The unfortunate thing is that just like how well we take care of ourselves, in many instances we stop putting that same effort into the relationship after it’s been existence for awhile.
We take things for granted and make assumptions that some reckless word or action will slide. After awhile, those things start adding up, building up, and becoming the wall that separates the two of you. Your ex saying goodbye is one tough way to learn this difficult lesson. But now that you are aware of it, you can use it to improve on how you do things in the future when you get back the love of your ex.
One easy way to keep this in mind is to remember the old adage, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” How do you want to be treated? Do you want your partner to look good and take care of him or herself? Then do the same for you.
Do you want your partner to pay attention when you’re talking and really listen to what you are saying? Then do the same for him and her. This also applies to the respect issue and anything and everything else you do.
The third and final step to discuss is the one that may be most difficult. It’s the very one that plays a key factor in your success. Yet, it’s also the one that most cannot fathom doing.
It’s the one that requires…letting go. I can also refer to it as, playing it cool.
Let me ask you, have you ever found yourself attracted to someone who’s not showing any attraction to you? They’ve drawn you unto them by being attractive in all aspects, physically, mentally, emotionally, and even spiritually. They’re confident, good looking, friendly, easy to talk to, fun to be around, and not too intense.
They listen to you and pay attention to what you say.
They respect you and make you feel important. You connect with them and find yourself wanting to be around them more and more. When you’re talking with them you feel like you could talk for hours and not stop. And you find yourself truly enjoying your time with them.
Your disappointment happens and longing for the next communication when you’re talking on the phone really enjoying the conversation and after about 5 minutes, they politely end the conversation with friendliness and charm leaving you to want more.
Can you see it? The phone rings. It’s him…or her. You’re so excited to talk to him or her. You get on the phone. The voice is kind, and you start talking just like he’s right there. He asks how you’re doing, what you’re doing, etc. You just start talking and when you’re just getting started and all those feelings of attraction start coming over you. You hear, “Hey, I’m sorry. I have to get somewhere so I need to let you go for now. Good talking to you, etc., etc., etc.” Disappointment overcomes you. It’s like being woken up from a great dream.
Is this experience familiar? Well, this is what you want to do. And achieving this big when it comes to how to get back the love of an ex. That means, if you’re currently calling your ex constantly, sending texts, following, (or for many, stalking them), going to the same places where they are at. You need to stop now.
Give your ex a little time, and in that time do those things that will help you to improve upon you. When the time is right, it will be time to play the role of the elusive one just like the person I mentioned on the phone.
When you step back, leave your ex alone, and use that time to improve upon yourself. When it’s time to connect with your ex you can play it cool, calm, and collected. You can be the person that she or he is drawn to, but can’t have.
Casually, start talking with them again without putting expectations on the outcome of the conversation. Keep communication brief, 2 to 5 minutes max. Don’t refer to the old days or say things that will cause any pressure. Simply ask how they are doing from sincere concern and leave it at that.
The keys are keeping the conversation light and brief. Over time, that will build. Friendship will grow and so too the love will return.
There are other critical steps in the process of finding out how to get the love of an ex back, but these are the basics and some of the most important.
